Best Dildo for Beginners: How to Choose Size, Material, Firmness & Shape
Buying your first dildo shouldn't be intimidating. Four things decide whether it's a great first experience: size, material, firmness, and shape. Get these right and the rest is just preference. Here's exactly how to choose.
1. Start smaller than you think
The most common beginner mistake is going too big. Aim for around 5–6" insertable length and 1.2"–1.5" diameter. Slim, realistic options like the Dave 7.5" x 1.8" beginner dildo or the skinnier Kris 6.2" x 1.3" are easy to control. Browse the full Small collection for the gentlest sizes. If you want help reading the spec numbers, see our size guide.
2. Material: body-safe only
Stick to 100% platinum silicone — it's non-porous, hypoallergenic, easy to sterilise, and lasts for years. Avoid anything labelled "jelly" or "TPR/PVC" for a first toy; porous materials are harder to clean fully. Every realistic toy we recommend is body-safe silicone.
3. Firmness: soft, firm, or dual-density?
- Soft — forgiving and beginner-friendly; flexes with your body. See the Soft collection.
- Firm — more precise pressure, easier to aim for G-spot/P-spot, but less forgiving.
- Dual-density — a soft outer layer over a firmer core, mimicking real tissue. The best of both for most beginners.
If you're unsure, start soft to medium. You can always go firmer once you know what you like.
4. Shape & base
A gently curved shaft helps reach the G-spot or prostate. For the base, a suction cup lets you go hands-free or stick it to a wall/floor for solo play, while a flared base is required if you ever want to use it in a harness. Smooth shafts are friendlier than heavily textured ones at first.
Don't skip the lube
Use a generous amount of water-based lube — it's compatible with all toy materials and makes everything more comfortable. Reapply as needed. See our care & lube guide for compatibility details.
FAQ
What's the best beginner size?
About 5–6" insertable, 1.2–1.5" wide, in soft-to-medium silicone with a suction-cup base.
Soft or firm for a first dildo?
Soft or dual-density. It's more forgiving while you learn what feels good.
Do I need lube?
Yes — water-based lube, generously. It's the cheapest upgrade to comfort you can make.
Start here: Small & beginner dildos · Soft dildos
